Dojima's Desk
by IHeartFantasy
Summary: It's a normal day in Inaba as Ryotaro Dojima walks into work, only to find that his desk is missing. Where on Earth did it go?


**Hello all! I'm new to writing Persona 4 fanfiction, but I'll give it a try. I own the P4 video game and P4A, and despite not having finished P4 yet, I already know who the culprit is due to a friend of mine getting me to watch the anime before I knew of the game. XD**

**Okay, so the concept of this came from that same friend who told me that you can buy Dojima's desk as a weapon for Kanji, which I found hilarious. It made me wonder who on Earth would steal his desk and sell it. XD And of course, only one person came to mind. So this is the result of that. Also, I have no idea what happened to Yosuke when I did this—he just happened to get the brunt of my humor. XD Sorry, Yosuke! XD**

**If you're wondering why the formatting is bad, it's because I wrote the oneshot on my iPhone, and since I discovered it's hard to edit something done on that kind of device on computer, I figured, "Screw it!" and decided not to edit it. So if you have trouble reading this, it's because I didn't want to bother with the long process of fixing the way the story was formatted._  
_**

**And without further ado, here's Dojima's Desk! I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

Dojima's Desk

Humming a little tune, Ryotaro Dojima walked into the police station. It was a bright, sunny day, which was odd since a lot of fog seemed to be covering the town lately, but the fog wasn't present at the movement.

He walked to over the coffee maker and made his daily morning coffee, the aroma of it made his mouth water. He then proceeded over to his desk where he could continue to try to crack the Inaba murder cases.

...Except it wasn't there. It was gone from its spot—the area where it normally was vacant. Dojima stood there for a moment, shocked at what he was looking at. It took a few minutes for his brain to register the fact his desk was missing.  
He looked around for someone to talk to about the issue. He spotted his partner, Tohru Adachi, walking with a glazed look on his face—it seemed like the younger man didn't have a good sleep last night.  
"Hey, Adachi!" he said, waving him over. "Do you know where my desk is? It's missing!"  
"Missing?" repeated Adachi, confusion on his face until he saw the spot where Dojima's desk used to be. "H―huh? What the?! Where'd it go?!"  
"That's what I want to know!" Dojima snapped. "How am I supposed to work on the case with my desk missing?!"  
Adachi stared at the spot for a few minutes.  
"Maybe one of the newbies moved it somewhere else?" he suggested, running a hand through his hair. "Ya know, like a prank to get back at you 'cause you're all stressed out from this case."  
"Ya think one of the new kids did it, huh?" said Dojima, rubbing his chin, before registering what Adachi said. "Hey, wait a minute! Who said I looked stressed?! Huh, Adachi?! Is that an idea for a joke?!"  
"N―no, Dojima-san!" Adachi cried out, waving his hands frantically. "It's not! I swear! I'm just saying you look like you've become tired lately! ...Wait, I didn't mean it like that…!"  
"Whatever," muttered Dojima, holding his temple. "I'm going to go find another desk. You stay there and see if you can find anyone who might've taken my desk."  
Dojima walked away, taking a sip of his drink and muttering under his breath about youngsters these days.  
Adachi watched him leave, looked around to see if anyone was watching, and started giggling to himself. He banged his hand on a nearby desk and wiped a tear from his eye.  
"He's an idiot," Adachi murmured softly to himself. "Seriously, he's so gullible. I can't believe I got away with it!"  
He held his stomach, trying to not laugh loudly.  
"Finally I get back at him for making _me _clean up his damn desk when it's HIS job to do that!" he said, chuckling evilly. "How lazy can you get? I wonder how long it'll take for him to figure out it was me..."

A few weeks later, Yu Narukami, Yosuke Hanamura, Chie Satonaka, Yukiko Amagi, and Kanji Tatsumi walked into the Daidara Metalworks.  
"So you really think we can find something for Kanji-kun?" asked Yukiko, looking around.  
"Yeah," said Yu, looking around as well.  
Yosuke stood in front of a desk in shock.  
"Dude, does that say what I think it says?" he asked, pointing at the sign that was taped on the desk.  
Yu walked over and read the sign aloud: _For anyone who wants this lame piece of shit, feel free to use it. This is Dojima's desk from the Inaba Police Department._  
"Wh―what the crap?!" Yosuke cried out, backing away from the desk. "Who in their right mind would steal a policeman's desk and sell it?!"  
"Apparently someone who hates it," murmured Chie.  
"What should we do?" Yukiko asked, looking over the desk. "We can't just leave it here!"  
"I'll buy it."  
The others turned to look at Kanji.  
"Uh, what?" said Yosuke, staring at him in disbelief.  
"I said I'll buy it," Kanji said, crossing his arms. "It looks sturdy enough to be used as a weapon. I could use it against Shadows."  
"But still, it's from the police department!" Chie cried out. "Won't they get suspicious if we go around carrying that thing into Junes?"  
"What do you think Senpai?" Kanji asked Yu. "What do you wanna do?"  
"Let's buy it."  
"You―you've gotta be kidding me!" Yosuke cried out. "This is crazy! We can't do this!"  
"Too late," said Yu, going over to the cashier and taking out his wallet.  
"Great," muttered Chie. "How are we going to sneak that thing into Junes?"  
"I―I'll think of something!" Yosuke said, running his hands through his hair.

A few minutes later, the gang was pitifully trying to attempt to get the desk into Junes.  
"Damn, this thing is heavy!" Yosuke groaned, struggling to keep his part of the desk off the ground. "How much does it weigh...?"  
"Stop groaning like a baby and lift it up higher!" Chie snapped. "You're making it harder for me to keep my side up!"  
"It's not my fault this thing weighs a thousand pounds!" Yosuke cried out, lifting his arms higher. "Ugh, my arms are dying..."  
"The desk probably doesn't weigh that much," Kanji said, easily keeping his side above the ground. "I'd bet maybe a hundred pounds or so."  
"Then why is it so hard to carry?!" Yosuke shouted, his eye twitching.  
"Probably because you don't work out much, Yosuke-kun," said Yukiko, who was following and watching their progress.  
"Hey, Yukiko-san, why aren't you helping us?" Yosuke asked.  
"M―me?" stammered Yukiko. "I don't do heavy lifting at the inn, so I'm pretty sure I'd just drop it."  
"R―really...?" muttered Yosuke. "Ugh! My arms are killing me! They feel like they're gonna fall off!"  
"Policeman at twelve o'clock," Yu said quickly, eyes widening and tightening his grip on his desk's side.  
"W―what?!" Yosuke cried out. "Oh crap! Everyone, drop the desk!"  
The four of them dropped the desk abruptly, one of the leg stands landed on Yosuke's foot.  
"Yooooooooow!" Yosuke cried out, picking up his foot off the leg stand, holding it in his hands and jumping on one foot. "Craaaaaap! That huuuuurts! Who dropped it on my foot?!"  
"Wha―that's your fault, you idiot!" Chie shouted at him. "YOU told us to drop it! We didn't know your foot would be underneath it!"  
"The pain..." groaned Yosuke, jumping up and down in his one foot. "It hurts..."  
"Don't just stand there!" snapped Chie. "If it hurts then rub your foot! Or get some ice for it!"  
Yu noticed the policeman who was staring at them with a puzzled look on their face.  
"Ah, Adachi-san," he said. "What brings you here?"  
"I have a right mind to ask you guys the same question," said Adachi, looking at Yosuke with a perplexed look on his face. "Whatcha guys doing with that desk there?"  
"We're...um..." said Chie, struggling to think of a excuse to use.  
"We're bringing the desk into Junes so people can use it to sign up for a part-time job!" Yukiko intervened quickly. "Isn't the right, Yosuke-kun?"  
"Huh?" said Yosuke, looking up from his hurting foot and realizing what Yukiko said. "Oh! Ye―yeah, that's right! We're sort of low on staff so I figured if we did this someone would have to sign up eventually!"  
"Oh, alright," said Adachi, nodding his head. "That's a nice thing to do. And uh, you might want to get your foot checked. It could be developing a bruise."  
"I'll be sure to do that once we put the desk where it belongs," said Yosuke.  
"Right," said Adachi. "Well, uh, you kids have fun doing that."  
He turned around and walked away.  
"Yeah, we'll be sure to do that!" said Kanji.  
As soon as Adachi was out of sight, the gang breathed out a sigh.  
"Nice thinking Yukiko!" said Chie smiling. "You saved us from a bad situation!"  
"It was nothing," said Yukiko. "I figured that was the most reasonable sounding excuse for the desk."  
"Well, it worked," said Kanji. "Now we've just gotta get this thing into the TV world!"  
"I wonder what Adachi-san was doing here..." murmured Yu.  
"Probably slacking off as usual," muttered Kanji. "Man, how'd that guy get into the police force...?"  
"Has anyone forgotten that my foot has died?!" Yosuke cried out.  
"Oh quit whining!" scolded Chie, punching Yosuke's arm. "We'll get your foot checked after we put the desk into the TV world!" Walking out of Junes, Adachi was still registering what he had just seen. That Yu kid and his friends were taking a desk into Junes. And it wasn't just any desk. It was Dojima's desk!  
"I can't believe someone actually bought it!" he cried out, laughing hysterically. "And those losers of all people! Ha ha ha ha ha!"  
He leaned against a telephone pole, holding his stomach.  
"I wonder what they're actually doing with it," he murmured. "Then again, why should I care? Dojima'll never see that thing ever again! Ha ha ha ha!"  
Adachi rubbed his hands together.  
"I wonder what would happen if I did it again...?"

A few weeks later, Dojima walked into the police station to find his desk missing yet _again_.  
"Adachi!" he shouted. "Get me a list of the people who work here! I'm going to find the punk who thinks it's funny to take my desk away!"  
"C―coming, sir!" Adachi said, running for the list.  
Inside his head, he was having a party.  
"He'll never figure out it's me..." he whispered, giggling evilly as he worked his way through files. "Hee hee, this is fun! Hey, maybe it could be a game...!"

A few days later, Yu and Yosuke were walking home down the Samegawa Flood Plain. Yosuke spotted something underneath the alter.  
"He―hey, is that...?"  
The two walked over to the object to find yet another desk with the same sign taped on it.  
"Okay, seriously, what is up with this dude and desks?!" Yosuke cried out, waving his hands in the air.  
"Hey, maybe we could use it for Kanji," said Yu.  
"Oh no, not that again!" Yosuke said. "I'm not putting my foot in danger from carrying a desk! Hell, it still has a bruise from last time!"  
In the end, the two took the desk to Junes. Thankfully, Yosuke didn't damage his foot. ...Until they dropped it in the TV world.  
"Oh c'mon!" cried out Yosuke, jumping up and down on one foot.  
"Oh, Yosuke, is that a dance?" asked Teddie. "Can I do it too?"  
"It ain't a damn dance, you stupid idiot!" Yosuke snapped.  
"Maybe you just have bad luck with desks, Yosuke," said Yu, rubbing the side of his head.  
"Oh, you think?!"

After that, Dojima always seemed to lose his desks after a few weeks, causing the gang to take them into the TV world, during which Yosuke was injured in some way or another.  
After Adachi was arrested, the disappearances of Dojima's desks stopped happening. Dojima _still_ never figured out who it was who stole his desks, a fact that kept Adachi laughing inwardly at his old partner.  
Yosuke never wanted to work with desks again. And his foot never truly healed, either.


End file.
